Strong. Fighting. Surviving.

I just started one of my favorite movies, Finding Nemo. This movie is guaranteed to lift me out of any funk. Dory, Crush, Marlin, and Gill are part of my official comic relief team. I know that when I call on them, they will rally around me and boost my mood. (You know for a [...]

Me dancing. It’s not a pretty sight and one that doesn‘t happen very often, at least not in public. In college, though, it became a regular occurrence. Fueled by a few Hairy Buffaloes, my girlfriends and I shamelessly humpty-humped. We were goofballs, making fun of ourselves and everyone around us…until Lisa started to dance. There [...]

Even though cancer is a part of my body, it isn’t mine. I didn’t wait in line for it like an amusement park ride. I didn’t sign any contract like a mortgage or car loan. And I certainly don’t remember asking Santa for it. It’s not mine, and, with the exception of this particular sentence, [...]

Almost everything in life is done in stages. This not so insightful thought occurred to me today during my pedicure. I’m well versed in the pedicure ritual. Pick your color (today’s selection was ‘I don‘t do dishes‘ red), sit, soak, and smile. Nestled in the enjoyable routine is the dreaded pumice stone. For those not [...]

My laptop couldn’t boot up fast enough and my fingers can’t keep up with the flow of my thoughts. This is pouring out of me and I’m going to fight my normal desire to censor or wordsmith it. I don’t know how this is going to come out, so I’ll apologize in advance if it’s [...]

I love my oncologist. In fact, I think I’ve developed a little bit of a crush on him. He’s incredibly smart, compassionate, and a gifted photographer. Usually he’s very cautious with his words and knows how much (or how little) information I can handle. I don’t know if I would be here today if he [...]

I went through a period I call my ‘What’s the point?’ phase. For the five months following my diagnosis, I couldn’t spend any money on myself because, to be blunt, it felt like a waste. According to the experts, I wouldn’t be around long enough to enjoy a new pair of summer sandals so why [...]

If you want to know the medical definition of chemo brain, visit the Mayo Clinic. This is my definition – not an ounce of science behind it, but as honest and sincere as I can be. Pick an object, any object, let’s say a rainbow. Not the unfortunate rainbows airbrushed with unicorns on t-shirts from [...]

Eek. It’s not much of a word, but I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m collecting copies of my medical records (scans, reports, etc) for an upcoming appointment at Johns Hopkins. I tried to avoid reading them, but finally caved in a few days ago. I’ve been obsessing about the word eek ever since. It [...]

I have done a lot of things in my life for a lot of different reasons. I ran the Marine Corps Marathon to test my endurance, hiked the Grand Canyon to test my mental and physical stamina, and went skydiving to feel the rush of adrenaline. I’ve even done a few things (that shall remain [...]