Thank you for your email.

My wife died this year from Pancreatic Cancer. I am a South African caucasian male and my wife was a Thai person. When I married her I was the happiest person since we both married late and enjoyed one another’s company. She was married before with her first husband dying of heart disease.

You can imagine what I felt when the doctor said she had pancreatic cancer and she was going to die that year. We trusted our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ and she did not die in 2007, nor 2008 but in April 2009. During that time we went through great sadness but also great joy. We were able to work on our relationship with both with one another and with God. I am happy that she is with the Lord Jesus Christ because we had so much opportunity to deal with that subject. Many people do not have that and thank God we did.

You know the last night of her life she suffered a lot because she was really ill. The doctor said it was soon, but I asked her if she still loved the Lord Jesus and that she believed and trusted Him. She nodded to me with great pain. The words choked out of my mouth when I asked her then why she suffered and why she does not go home to be with Him. I cried when I said that because I did not want her to go, but I knew she suffered too much. She also had a tear in her eye. The next morning at 04:00 she died.

I had more tragedy when my step-daughter (my wifes daughter) who had a baby which me and my wife adoped travelled with her biological mother to be together for a weekend and just 3 weeks after my wifes death, met in a car accident and the baby died the next day. My step daughter was also seriously injured. I could not believe this and it was one of the saddest days of my life. I could not believe this and I asked God for many weeks “why”.

What I want to exort you and others like you that Pancreatic Cancer is not your end. If you know the Lord Jesus Christ you have the whole of eternity to look forward and this thing is just a blob in the way. My wife is now with the Lord, so is my baby daughter. I have a modified picture of my daughter in the arms of Jesus and while I cry about not being with both of them, I take great pleasure in knowing that they are with the Lord, with no more pain and I have a sort of holy jealousness that Jesus has my little baby in His arms and she is smiling.

If God wants you healed He will do so, by the miracle of prayer or the intervention of the doctors. If not, take great pleasure that he gave you the opportunity to prepare to be with Him. Many do not have that privilege. Just live each day, do not fret about death but be aware that your life is in the hands of the maker of heaven and earth.

I am planning to do a full testimony about both my wife Anna and my baby daughter Jane and I hope that it will give insight into victory in spite of suffering and pain.

Two things reminded me strongly during my time of mourning when I spoke about their deaths with great pain:

1
A Buddist woman who saw the movie Passion of the Christ and was a customer in my business asked me once why I am suprised that Anna and Jane was not spared because God did not spare His own Son to achieve his purposes. I was suprised that she understood this as an unbeliever yet me as a believer missed it at that stage because of my grief.

2
I listened to a CD cut on the funeral of Jane and one of the songs sang “I was made to worship you”. It suddenly hit me that I could ask “why” but I knew why - Jesus who is the creator of everything, made Jane for His pleasure not mine and I was only her custodian. I had to give back His possessions when He asked.

Hard subjects but I hope that God will give you the grace and power to overcome this evil disease. I believe if you turn your face to Him, you will not regret it and you will see Pancreatic cancer as your opportunity and not as your burden.

I love you with the love of the Lord Jesus Christ!!!

Craig Kinsman
+27-83-750-5821
craig@kinsman.co.za

I am a 3 year survivor of PC and saw your letter on the Pan Can website. It would be great to connect if you are up to it.
My phone is:415-456-6460 or just email. Hope all is well with you. Best Regards, Kay

I bumped on your site while researching my wife’s chemo symptoms.

She has pancreatic cancer, had the whipple surgery about 48 days ago - now in her second session of chemo.

I made her blog and maintain it - prayforpam.com Her Medical Team is listed - FYI.

Overall Pam is doing great - prayer is the answer for her - He can help in so many small ways - God is in compete control anyway - so why not let Him have it all.

God be with you to a speedy and comfortable recovery. I’ll keep you in our prayer.

Max

Funny, how life is sooooo different.

Hope you are feeling better!