Strong. Fighting. Surviving.

Same day service is great when it comes to things like dry cleaning or shoe repair. It’s not so great when it comes to test results. I learned early on that no news is definitely good news. The more time that passes in between taking a test and receiving the results, the better. While being diagnosed, I would sometimes get “the call” within a matter of hours.

Of course, there are other aspects to my theory. In my experience, typically

• if a nurse calls on behalf of the doctor, then it’s good news.
• if the doctor makes the call in person, it’s bad news.
• if the doctor calls and won’t go into details over the phone, then it’s very bad news.
• if the doctor calls your emergency contact person before calling you, then it’s very, very bad news.
• and finally, if the doctor calls on Christmas Eve while at Dulles airport, waiting to board his flight to the Caribbean, then you know you’re in serious trouble.

I had another MRI this afternoon and I know that if my phone rings tomorrow morning or early afternoon, there’s a good chance that I have something very scary growing on my spine. According to my calculations, if my doctor doesn’t call by Wednesday afternoon, then I might be okay.

So I’m sitting here, staring at my phone, hoping it doesn’t ring. In fact, I hope it doesn’t ring until late Friday afternoon. When I answer it, I hope it’s the nurse calling and she’s at happy hour, drinking a margarita.

I’ll be honest, I’ve had a rough week and it’s not over yet. I spent most of the week in the hospital with unexplained stomach and back pain. As I sit here, I’m no longer able to hide my fear and anxiety. It could be anything - arthritis, fluid build-up, scar tissue - but I won’t find out more until tomorrow.

I’ve been crying so much this afternoon that I think I’m at risk of dehydration, so I’ve decided to try a different approach. Taking a cue from one of my favorite bloggers, Obsessed With Life, I’m going to focus my attention on the positive things that happened this week. Here’s just a sampling:

First and foremost - I’m so grateful to the Thaxton clan for coming to our rescue last Saturday. For those who don’t know, Tim’s family invaded our house and spent the entire day doing housework. They pulled and trimmed shrubs, scrubbed windows, power-washed siding, organized and cleaned our garage - the list goes on and on…they basically did an entire summer’s worth of work in one day. A huge thank you goes to Rod, Kim, Kari, David, Daniel, Monti, Pam, Todd, Sydney, Sammi, and Ed. You guys rock!

I’m grateful to the wonderful nurses and doctors who helped me this week.

I’m so happy to come home to Tim, Remy, Charlie, and their unconditional love.

I’m thankful that the weather is warming up and that my kayak is on sale this week.

And, last, but not least, I’m very grateful for this Blue Moon Belgian White beer…cheers!