Couch Days
I used to be such a morning person. I loved to get up just before dawn, walk Remy down to the edge of the lake, and watch the sunrise. Then it was off to Boot Camp class before heading to work. It’s weird to think that that really wasn’t very long ago. In fact, it was almost two years ago – just before I was diagnosed. Naturally, I stopped going to Boot Camp class when I started treatment, but my energy level remained pretty high and stayed high for my first year of treatment. Then I started Sutent…
Now my morning routine consists of laying in bed, trying to convince myself to move. Thank goodness Remy isn’t in a rush to get outside in the morning. There are some mornings when I feel trapped under my goose down comforter. My brain and body play tug-of-war on those mornings. My brain is ready to start the day and creates a long To Do list, but my body has other plans…and getting out of bed isn’t high on its list. I eventually make it out of bed just to spend the day on the couch. I take a little comfort in the fact that I usually feel a little better after my couch days. I have more energy following a couch day and usually manage to have a couple of productive days.
I’m not sure why I felt compelled to write about my couch days - I don’t want sympathy or anything like that. Maybe this is my apology for not blogging more often. I needed to take the summer off, but the summer quickly turned into summer and fall. So I’m happy to announce that I’m back and thanks to everyone who wrote such wonderful and supportive comments while I was away.
Warm hug,
Kate
October 13th, 2008 saat: 8:43 pm
Welcome back!
October 14th, 2008 saat: 8:29 am
Hi, Kate – I’ve been taking Sutent for 16 months nowin a clinical trial to treat my metastasized thyroid cancer. I know all about couch days!
The one encouraging thing I can say is that my body seems to be better able to deal with the fatigue the longer I’m on the drug. I’ve talked with other folks on Sutent who’ve noticed the same thing, so hang in there: It will get more bearable!
I hope the Sutent works for you. With one hiccup in August, I’ve had good results on it.
John
October 15th, 2008 saat: 4:13 pm
Hi Kate,
I thought I was the only one who spent entire days on the couch! I struggle with the guilt factor. But most mornings, and early afternoons I just have no energy and am beyond too tired to do anything productive. I feel like such a slob when my husband comes home to find me still in my pajamas at 4pm!
My couch days usually start off from first dose of the chemo cycle for about 6-7 days. Then after the second dose of the cycle, it gets shorter to about 4-5 days. By the last dose I maybe spend 3 days on the couch. Otherwise I’m up and meeting people for lunch or doing some shopping, planning, cleaning, organizing, reading, whatever. but right now I’m doing everything from the couch.
It’s comforting to know I’m not alone. But I do know how you feel. It’s sad to think this is where we are just one year (for me) or two (for you) post diagnosis.
Take it easy. A friend always reminds me, “Right now, your JOB is to GET HEALTHY and the best way to get healthy is to rest your body and eat smarter. That’s all that should be expected of you right now.” I try to remember that in my deepest abysses of guilt and it usually helps.
So keep that in mind. You are HEALING. Or, call it COUCHING, if you want. Whatever you call it, it’s good for you and that’s all that matters.
Thinking of you,
Garnet
October 16th, 2008 saat: 7:20 am
Welcome back, Kate. And take care of yourself. It’s true — your job is to heal right now.
October 16th, 2008 saat: 9:56 am
Kate,
I can’t imagine how frustrating these couch days are for you, especially with the sense of what an active person you are. But the comments above are absolutely right and bear repeating: healing is your job right now, and there’s nothing more important that that. I’m sure that knowing that doesn’t make the days any easier, but I hope it at least can serve to remind you that you’re NOT doing nothing. You’re taking care of yourself.
October 16th, 2008 saat: 8:08 pm
Want you to know I’m thinking of you and pray for you often. Blessings from a fellow pancan survivor.
October 16th, 2008 saat: 8:09 pm
Hey, I just noticed you have a sheltie. I used to have a beautiful tri-color girl too. Her name was pepper.
October 17th, 2008 saat: 6:56 pm
Hi Kate,
i know, I have couch days or reclyner days myself and funny you should bring up the ‘to do’ list because I do that exact same thing. I go for another biopsy soon they see somethin on my lung now – great!. Anyway, keep it real
Kiki
October 18th, 2008 saat: 7:13 pm
Hey Kate, am often thinking of you & am glad to read your latest post. why do we all get knotted up about to-do lists — they really aren’t that important at all.
xoxoxo
October 18th, 2008 saat: 9:12 pm
Didn’t see any tweets lately so I followed the breadcrumbs to your blog. As a “fan” I need my streamingair dose.
October 23rd, 2008 saat: 7:16 pm
Glad to see you back online. I check your page fairly often, there is something about you and the way you write that gives me some degree of comfort. I enjoy your froggy friend too!
October 31st, 2008 saat: 8:31 am
Hey Kate,
I don’t know why but I was thinking about you today. I am thinking you live up in the New England or north somewhere and I was looking at some pictures my hubby and I took while in Baltimore a few months ago. I was there for “cancer” but, call me selfish, I tend to take total advantage of my hubby on these ‘cancer’ trips to JHU. So this time we took the motor home, the dogs and I wanted to take the cat but hubby put his foot down on that one. See my dogs are not small; I have a German Shep and Lab mix. They’re big, old, smelly and hairy so you can imagine why poor hubby had to draw the line with the cat (little box was a bit much). Anyhoo, while in Baltimore we stayed up in PA at a state park. It was the BEST vacation I ever had. We hiked every morning, went canoeing, ate out every day (my dream life). I was going through all those pictures today thinking back at how much fun we had. Beautiful place. Yesterday I got some bad news. I was one of those that was lucky, had surgery back in 2005 and have done pretty good. I had recurrence and now it appears it’s mets in other areas, so chemo again. We left the doctor office, and in “Kiki’ fashion, I wanted to go antique shopping and junk store shopping, not hubbies favorite things to do, but hey I knew he wouldn’t say no. And, actually he found an antique fishing pole – so I think he’s addicted now. Today I have to get moving, going to the beach with a friend of mine. I look like a crack addict, so skinny, and I am real tall which added drama to the “look”. I think I’ll skip the “two piece”. Oh, I almost forgot, those pictures of you in that article reminded me some how of that great trip I had. Is there anyway to post pictures out here on you’re site?
Kiki
November 3rd, 2008 saat: 3:01 pm
Hey Kate – Haven’t heard from you in a while. Always thinking of you. Michael
November 9th, 2008 saat: 6:55 pm
Kate, Hey there! I have been thinking about you a lot lately and I just hope and pray all is well with you. You are a wonderful person and if you are taking some ‘couch days’–please enjoy them. You deserve them–think about healing and resting–which is so good for you. You deserve the best and treating yourself to taking care of yourself is a good thing! You go Girl and continue on your fight! You are a strong person and have many people caring and praying for you!
November 22nd, 2008 saat: 6:22 pm
I have couch days too and I always feel guilty about them! But I have a close friend who reminds me that healing is my job right now and having couch days is like working over time at my job.
What I hate is the series of couch days, back to back. By day three I’m fed up with the couch so I get up and try to get to work on the house or whatever. Only to collapse elsewhere in the house and crawling back to the couch. Exhausted.
It’s okay. Don’t worry too much about it. Enjoy the couch days. Cause once you’re done healing, you’ll be back on your feet and they’ll be a thing of the past!
November 22nd, 2008 saat: 6:25 pm
I totally have chemo brain. As I read your post I thought, “hmmm this looks familiar.” I haven’t been online for over a week so I just assumed this was a new post. After I posted my most recent comment on it tonight, I looked up and there was another comment from me on Oct 13! Ugh! Please accept my humble repetative apologies! My chemo brain has gotten worse in recent weeks, as has my memory!
sorry!
December 2nd, 2008 saat: 7:10 pm
Hey Kate, can you just check in and tell us how you are? Pistachio and I were talking about you on Twitter, and I’ve been trying to track you down all day to see how you are…
December 18th, 2008 saat: 10:27 am
Paging Lucky or Kate — I hope Kate is doing well and enjoying the beautiful holiday season around us. Prayers are with you for health and peace this holiday season.
December 23rd, 2008 saat: 1:52 pm
Happy Holidays Kate. Hope you are doing well. I think about you often.
December 23rd, 2008 saat: 5:03 pm
Happy Holidays , Kate! I think about you every day. Hope you are doing well and enjoying the holiday season.
Love- Mel
December 29th, 2008 saat: 11:07 am
Hi Kate! I hope you and Tim had a happy holiday! I’ve been thinking about you!
January 26th, 2009 saat: 1:15 pm
I hope you are doing well. Would love to read that you’re hanging in there and enjoying life!
January 27th, 2009 saat: 6:16 pm
I appreciate your posts, Kate. I’ve been thinking of you these past few months, and hope that you are doing ok.